Updated: Oct 11, 2020
My husband thinks I've lost it. My kids are embarrassed to be with me. The neighbors refuse to talk to me (although they do talk about me). When I go grocery shopping, no one makes eye contact with me. I am banished. I am a nutcase. I am an untouchable.
But that's ok!! I have always followed my own path, my own truth, my instincts. I am not afraid of trouble when it's for the right cause. I am not afraid of conflict. I am not afraid to debate, nor am I afraid to ask questions, even when the answers don't fit into my line of thinking.
For this I am different . I have always been different and I feel lucky to not be held down by any expectations because I broke away from that very long ago.
There are many others like me, but not in my immediate world. We tend to stay out of the limelight and not attract attention to ourselves because we don't need that in our lives.
But when it comes to all the right in the world being overrun by the wrong many of us feel compelled to speak up. So I do every chance I get. No one seems to like to be asked questions. We are expected to become slaves lowering our heads and covering our faces . That's not how I grew up. That's not what I was taught. As an American, we valued freedom. Freedom of speech, freedom to work, religious freedom, and freedom as an individual, to life liberty and happiness and to speak up for those who didn't have a voice..
Those liberties are being taken away from us. There is no way I can sit by and not say anything about it. So I debate those who refuse to debate and I confront those who choose to hide. Anyone who I feel penetrates my space, my privacy, my health. Everyone can do what they want with their body, why can't I? Why do they feel threatened by me choosing not to be scared and compliant? I don't bother their space, can't we all live and let live?
Many of these people are close family and friends. It has caused a riff between us. I am sad that this has become the new way of thinking, but each has to follow their heart and do what they feel is right. So I stick to my truth. I stick to science and to God. I've lost friends, fought with my husband, embarrassed my kids and have been escorted out of the grocery store by a man with a gun.
It is never easy to go against the grain. To stand for what is right when practically the entire world is doing what is wrong . But I come from a long line of rebels from my great-grandparents who left Russia when they saw the trends leading to the Holocaust. They too tried to warn everyone around them, but not many would listen. So they left and I am here today because they went against the grain and did what they felt was right. Those who choose not to see where the world was heading, lost everything in the Holocaust. i understand it's hard, I fight everyday. But we are not alone. There are many many out there doing the same work for the same reasons. We get in there and fight while we still have the opportunity to do so. We need all hands on deck.
We refuse to let our children grow up as slaves. We refuse to let facism take over and destroy more than it already has. I never want my kids to look up to me and see me bend over and do nothing for them. I want them to see that I am here only to protect them and stand up for what I believe. Even if I die doing it, I have done all that I can. I never want my kids or any children growing up scared, without confidence and with no one to speak up for them. If we speak up and hold our ground, they will learn to do it as well. Never to be scared and to always choose love. I want them to learn to have an open heart while seeing with open eyes.
This is the exact opposite of what we are being told today. We must be scared, we must listen to what others tell us what to do, we must not ask questions, and we must comply to every rule and law that is made without reason or science behind it. I say no and I mean it. No more being Mrs Nice Guy and no more trying to make other people happy by blindly following the crowd .
I try to imagine what Nelson Mandela, Gandhi, Gallileo, Martin Luther King Jr., JFK, and so many others had to put up with when they were alive. We must turn this negative energy around and get active, support others who are doing incredible work and make our voices heard. Together we are strong, together we can make this happen.
Although I try to bridge it gently and understand where other people are coming from, I will not let my rights, my mind or my heart be trampled by other people's ideas of what I should be doing, thinking or saying. We are running out of time and it waits for no one. I wish for everyone love, compassion and freedom. I expect that they can do this for others as well.
Many people feel overwhelmed, scared, worried, unsure, depressed and exhausted both physically and emotionally. That's what it is all about. When we are too tired and worn out, we could never fight back or even give it too much thought . But what I've found is that if I stay away from news , journal, get out in the sun, stretch, breathe, pray or meditate, eat lots of fresh veggies and fruits and excercise even just a little , my brain starts to clear, my heart slows, my instinct gets louder and i start to trust myself. Then I can do simple things, like start a blog, support those already in the fight, smile, stand up straight, look people in the eye and say "no thank you" . That's when I begin to feel comfortable in my own skin and to stand for what I believe to be true for me and for my kids. The more we practice these things, the more we realize how little control over us they actually have.
So if your family and friends are seeing things different, don't let their need for being part of the crowd become a fight. Smile, say I love you or bless them and move on. We must conserve our energy for what is to come........