Talk to Your Children
- Chava Dagan
- Dec 28, 2020
- 8 min read
Many years ago, I wrote a book called "Mother's Pearls: The Revival of Parenthood" . I wrote it because I saw that so many moms and dads were disconnected from the art of parenting. They had gone so far away from taking that role that they had passed it on to the teachers, government, army etc to raise their children for them. I wanted to reconnect parents with their God given role and have them find joy in it once again.
Now I see another disconnect rising. Since "corona" , we have all become obsessed with the news, with mandates, lockdowns, school closures, loss of work and loss of physical contact with extended family. It has taken a toll on us physically, mentally and many feel we are at the end of our rope.
Somewhere in this mess is the kids . They no longer have their routines of either school, activities, travel , studies and meeting friends. They no longer can move about freely , have job opportunities, or even social outlets where they can meet friends, family or potential life partners. They are confused and feel purposeless day after day. Suicides are happening daily amongst the young and is becoming the reason for high death rates in many countries.
This must end and it won't be any government official who will fix it. It is up to us, the parents of these kids. They were born into freedom and lived to see this destruction of society. They are too young to grasp it, they can't make sense out of it and it looks to them that everyone around them has gone along with everything up until now, so they do too. So the children's reaction has been one of acceptance.
If we leave our kids out of the conversation, they have no clue that the fabric of society has been torn apart. They look to their adults to explain and to show them the difference between right and wrong. We must take action with our children now. We are here to lead them through dangerous times, to protect them at all costs and to make their days as joyful and safe as possible until this all blows over.
Maybe it's me, but I see the message of "corona" coming through loud and clear. Our course has been corrected and rerouted. We were heading down a dead end road and we were picked up, turned around and shown the true path , then given a nudge on the behind and we are now making our way blindly ,using our instincts and following our hearts.
We can no longer wait for help, look to our governments and leaders. Even many of our religious sages have chosen to lead their flocks to dangerous futures . It is up to us to take the reins of our destiny and take the new road to a new future where truth, justice and love govern. Sometimes it feels like we're alone on this new path, but the truth is that there are many of us and we're forging a way through the jungle together.
It's time we learn how to provide for ourselves and be self sufficient. It's time to teach our children. Many of us forgot how to do basic skills such as cooking and baking, sewing and fixing, building and creating, failing, learning from our mistakes and try again.
This is the perfect opportunity for us to work and learn together. To laugh , sing, dance, smile and just enjoy being alive with our kids. It's easy to fall into self pity and depression about what's going on all around us. But if we take some time to step away from all of that and just appreciate how amazing our children are and how blessed we are to have them, our sadness turns to gladness. Our gratitude shines through any depressing thoughts and brings us to the other side.
Imagine raising children for a new paradigm. One of simplicity, joy, and purpose. Imagine if every child knew how to plant a garden and enjoy the foods from it. How would could that change their perspectives?
Sometimes we as parents don't know how to do many of the things listed below. Or we once knew, but have forgotten. However, now is the time to teach them to our children while learning them ourselves. In other words, it's ok not to know, we will learn as we go.......
Many important skills , traditions and tools to teach children could be: (your list might look different )
Nutrition: To feed their body in order to remain vibrant, healthy and joyful
Their body: We all know so much about computers, cars, hobbies , work etc. But hardly anyone knows how the body works and how extraordinary it is. Our body communicates to us and through us by giving us messages, thoughts, feelings and sensations. Learn to listen to this language, learn it and let it lead you . When we are distracted by technology, we forget to move. Teach your children to use their bodies, move and explore their potential
The natural world: Teach them to respect nature and all the animals, ecosystems and living beings who inhabit our earth
To be self sufficient: Not have to depend on a system to provide for their needs
To be bold, Speak the truth: We all know the difference between right and wrong (common sense, above), but society teaches us to ignore this and follow the crowd. We should never be afraid to speak the truth. To stand up for what we believe in, despite social pushback
To be healthy: To know how to feed their body, mind and spirit with simple healthy food, exercise, sunlight, clean air and time with nature
The immune system: Many people forgot that we were given an innate immune system. They don't know how it works and how it protects us every moment of every day
Self-defense: How to defend themselves when needed
Common sense: We were born with a common sense. It is meant to lead us and to show us when something is not right. Many people are being led to ignore this very important "sixth sense"
Independent research: This is something most people take for granted. This simple tool we have available to each of us, helps us learn and come to our own conclusions so that we know what's best for our own sovereignty. Also known as critical thinking, asking questions and searching for answers
Detox systems: Our body is working for us every second of every day to rid us of the world's toxins. Most people don't even realize how important this system is that keeps us alive despite our food , air, water and environments being systematically poisoned. Our breath, urine, sweat, stool are all there to remove waste and prevent overload.
Gardening: One of the most simple amazing tools for each person to have is how to make a garden grow.
Foraging: Learning to recognize food and medicine in the environment in which you live can provide you with free access to both when needed
Respect: This is missing in today's society. But it can be taught through example. Respect for nature, for our elders, for authority, for other opinions......
Freedom: This is never given to us, we must learn what it is, stand up and fight for it .
Life skills: fixing, building, planting, cooking, sewing, cleaning, laundry, dishes, failing, helping, first aid....
Find peace: Most people are searching for peace in their daily lives and they don't know how to find it. This skill has been taken away from people. Teach your children to find it in whatever makes them happy: prayer, meditation, time in nature , time with animals, sports, creativity of any form
Learn to express through creativity: This comes in many forms, let them explore what speaks to them and encourage them to use this outlet, whatever form it might take. They will develop their own individuality and find joy in their own uniqueness.
Pride in your traditions: Where ever your family came from, whatever experiences they had, stories passed down, traditions, foods, knowledge, ....Let this be the foundation from which they can take pride in and explore further
Forgiveness: This simple yet profound tool will help children develop in an unforgiving world. When they learn to forgive themselves as well as others, this can free up their conscience to pursue their true purpose. This begins with learning to trust in God
Intuition: The more they practice this, the stronger their sense of self becomes. When you embrace your truth, no one can scare you with false claims or take away your self confidence
Fear God : When you fear God, you don't fear government, weapons, hearsay, etc. You do what's right and follow God's path that he lays out for each and every one of us. The Bible, the Torah, is our guide. God's presence is in each of us, we need to teach our children how to tap into that power and trust it.
Let your children know that you love them and that you are fighting for them everyday. We are here to protect them and they need to know that everything we do , everything we say, and every action we take is only because we love them and we are fighting for them to grow up healthy and joyful . Right now things might not appear that way, but we need to explain as best we can that we are doing this to protect them and the world they will inherit
They are not sick or dirty: Right now children are being taught (or it is being implied) that our children (masked and unmasked) are spreading sickness to others just by being alive. This is not true and they must be made to understand that they are not sick , dirty, unclean or in any way at fault for the psychotic government mandates of cancelled classes, masks, separation from their friends and family or any of the other tyrannical maniacal rules being thrown around. Children are sensitive but being desensitized , they are trying to do the right thing, but it is traumatizing them and we the parents must explain to them everyday how this is the wrong-doing of government, media and adults. But it has nothing to do with the children. Please don't mask your children. Teach them that they are beautiful with beautiful smiles, and incredible things to say and that they deserve to be heard.
It's ok to fail: Many children are taught not to take chances because they might fail. They need to understand that we are all human and that messing up is part of growing up. Never to be discouraged or give up, just pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and try again.
It's ok to feel and express emotions: This "corona" experience has flipped us up-side-down. It is confusing, frustrating, overwhelming and unfair. Children should be given the opportunity to express how they feel, say what they are going through and their opinions about it all . When they are made to suppress that, it will manifest in other non-productive ways.
Budget: When we know how to use within our limits, it makes life simpler, easier and takes away stress.
This is my list of priorities (no order of importance). What's yours? Can we include our children in life once again? What would that look like for you?
Corona has taken away a lot from us in many ways, but it has also provided new opportunities for growth. Reconnecting with our children on a basic human level is one of those. We all want our kids to come through this intact, stronger, and more aware than they were before.
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